PAIN

Fibromyalgia.
Rheumatoid Arthritis.
Chronic Pain Disorder.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.

These words are my daily life and today they each reared their ugly heads with a vengeance.

Last night I kinda saw it coming when i got an extremely intense tension headache. I retired to bed early in hopes of sleeping it off and for the most part that worked. However, I was awakened early this morning with sharp shooting pains in my right ankle and calf...pains that nearly made me lose my breath. I know this routine all to well....tension headaches tend to proceed a "bad" fibromyalgia spell for me. I guess the naive  part of me wanted to "HOPE" that wasn't the case this time...

So, i laid in bed wishing the pain would subside and nearly passing out with each throb...then just as quickly as it hit in my ankle it jumped to my hands and then to my shoulders...pretty soon not only was i hurting in these places but had a horrible dull ache all over...and the one characteristic of fibromyalgia that is the most painful "sensitive skin"...you know how on those cheesy fibro commercials on TV the woman says "it hurts to be hugged"....yeah, well...it does... I was hurting and of course the natural remedy seemed like maybe it would feel better if Mike rubbed the soreness...terrible idea. That only made me wanna cry even more and punch a wall...LOL

I took some Anaprox (Hospital Strength Aleve) and even that didn't help. So here it is 7:30pm and I am still in moderate pain and my right ankle is still swollen and achey. It's just one of those things that you really have to let run its course. And I'm not a very patient person.....

So, now having told you all that let me give you the history behind my diagnosis and also a little information about the diseases themselves as they are tricky and can be misdiagnosed...

I started developing symptoms of RA and Fibro in 2007 3 weeks after I gave birth to Ella Caroline. I woke up one morning and my hands were extremely stiff and swollen very bad and very red around my knuckles....i remember my knuckles hurt so bad i was crying because i couldn't even pick up Ella's infant carrier. I got to the doctor and he said it looked like I had some sort of inflammation in my body and gave me some anti-inflammatory and pain meds and sent me home. Over the next few weeks I continually got worse...Other joints became affected, I could barely walk or grasp anything, my cognition became affected very badly...my memory was ridiculous and i was also falling alot...not to mention overwhelming fatigue...fatigue so bad that if i didn't lie down i would passout wherever i was. Finally after an incident where i blacked out and fell Mike said enough was enough and i wound up at the doctor the next day...after a few rounds of blood work he comes back in and says my ANA levels were unreal and that he thought I had "lupus"...he referred me to a rheumatologist who said I did not have lupus but that rather I had severe fibromyalgia and the beginning stages of RA plus chronic fatigue. So, he gave me lyrica and ultram. Lyrica was a miracle worker, but after only a month on it i began to shake like i had Parkinson's and I was forced to get off of it. I have tried a few meds since but they are either not covered by insurance or they don't work well enough. So my treatment right now is my own remedy...i exercise alot and I rest whenever I need to. There's alot that I can't do but there's alot that I can do. Sometimes I get great burst of energy and feel "normal" enough to do things that alot of people take forgranted like clean there house, play with their kids, go out grocery shopping, ect...however even just the exertion from some of those things and can put me down for days at a time...which probably makes you wonder "How in the world do you play in a rock and roll band?" Sometimes I wonder how i do it myself. Music is my passion and it is a wonderful outlet for me. And it's also a little extra change in my pocket. It honestly takes me 2-3 days to recover from a show, but to be able to have the opportunity to do what I love, i guess its worth the suffering sometimes...but even still fibro and RA don;t only attack due to shows, stress, weather...sometimes they just hit you for no apparent reason and rarely with any warning.

One thing about fibromyalgia is that it is often misdiagnosed...and alot of times its frustrating because people don't understand your pain because they can't see anything physically wrong with you...they think you are exaggerating or it's "all in your head"....well here is the definition and some symptoms if you think you may have it, you should see a doctor and see if they have something that might help you deal with the extreme fatigue and pain...

Fibromyalgia:
An autoimmune disorder when there is chronic pain in the soft tissues, surrounding joints, fatigue and tenderness at very specific sites in the body. This illness is also characterized by extreme feelings of fatigue and malaise.
Symptoms:

• Chronic muscle pain, muscle spasms or tightness, weakness in the limbs, and leg cramps
• Moderate or severe fatigue and decreased energy
• Insomnia or waking up feeling just as tired as when you went to sleep
• Stiffness upon waking or after staying in one position for too long
• Difficulty remembering, concentrating, and performing simple mental tasks
• Abdominal pain, bloating, nausea, and constipation alternating with diarrhea (irritable bowel syndrome)
• Tension or migraine headaches
• Jaw and facial tenderness
• Sensitivity to one or more of the following: odors, noise, bright lights, medications, certain foods, and cold
• Feeling anxious or depressed
• Numbness or tingling in the face, arms, hands, legs, or feet
• Increase in urinary urgency or frequency (irritable bladder)
• Reduced tolerance for exercise and muscle pain after exercise
• A feeling of swelling (without actual swelling) in the hands and feet
• Painful menstrual periods
• Dizziness

Fibromyalgia symptoms may intensify depending on the time of day -- morning, late afternoon, and evening tend to be the worst times, while 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. tends to be the best time. They may also get worse with fatigue, tension, inactivity, changes in the weather, cold or drafty conditions, overexertion, hormonal fluctuations (such as just before your period or during menopause), stress, depression, or other emotional factors.
If the condition is not diagnosed and treated early, symptoms can go on indefinitely, or they may disappear for months and then recur

It is also is genetic/runs in families. My grandmother, mother and my aunt all have it.

I just wanted to help bring awareness to this disorder/disease, because it doesn't get a whole lot of attention and people tend to shake their heads at people like me who suffer from it which in turn makes us go within ourselves and suffer alone. While I live with pain on a daily basis it isn't always severe...somedays are very tolerable and then others, like today, are debilitating. Having emotional support is a good thing and I am so thankful that i have friends and family who understand and help me out :)

And I'm always thankful for my tomorrows, because even though today hurts, tomorrow is always a new day...a new chance to feel better...

Take Care...
XoXo
MJ